Is commitment – whether religious, social, or idiosyncratic – capable of fighting curiosity? We are taught that chaos is a taboo, which, as a consequence, paradoxically becomes so magnetic to us; we fear the anarchy, which, supposedly, brings the downfall of man; of life’s inconstancies, which nonetheless keep our lives in flux, becoming the only interesting things that we anxiously, secretly anticipate. And Yys,it does bring us satisfaction when we do the right thing, the morally-suggestive one … however, it brings us more joy, when we ‘accidentally’ deviate from it, chasing the thrill of life. Then, peculiar thoughts enter the brain (our minds’ invention more likely), which sufficiently serve to create an apology and justify everything, bring ‘reason’…
Is there any moral code at all, which we truly follow? … unquestionable, undeniable, unequivocal? A code which would bring us closer to the idea of what it takes to be perfect? and not only for the sake of ethics, but for our own joy as well. A moral code which we would voluntarily follow beyond the teachings of our predecessors, beyond any religious or social foisting… Is there? A moral, reasonable or not, to which we would adhere without worrying of missing anything out as we would normally do; without the what-if’s? This voice within us, you know, the one that judges our actions and so becomes the voice of remorse; the sentinel of our pride and justice… is it really the voice of morality itself, of God, or maybe it is wickedness, thus twisting us and so becoming just another excuse for sin?
Elysian dreams, we think, are a deception, an unattainable goodness, which has no place on Earth. Utopia is fiction, Heaven is far above us, Hell is below, underneath our feet. The word ‘perfect’ seems to have always belonged up there, in the Kingdom of Gods, or God … Here, on the middle ground, it is always negated. We are neither in the utopian fiction, for we strictly believe in reality; nor are we in Heaven, for we are sinful beings; nor are we in Hell yet, for still the possibility of repentance and contrition brings us hope, which, ironically, makes us think that our vouchers for the indulgences of life are not expired yet and we can never get enough. We would never repent; even if we do, it would be out of fear of losing our selves. I wonder, if we knew there is life after death, would that change a thing? I guess so. Predestination? a flying notion.
History, I believe, possesses a quite substantial archives of this nature.
The fact is that, no one tries to be perfect, no one wants to be perfect.
Why do we not strive towards perfection? Towards evolution for the sake of perfection. Would our dual nature not allow it? Because the biggest enemy of a human is he himself! Does history prevent us from letting everything go and open a new page … for a new world, which actually matters? Where ambition actually means something more than what it means now? A world, where perfection is an attainable and joyous ambition? How much would it take?
“Death is a natural path of life. Train yourself to let go of everything and everyone you care to lose.”
The world we live in is split in half, and Heaven and Hell are here… within each and every one of us.